The real 411 on: TIME TO JOIN

As you have just read this story either you are fascinated by the whole thing or you just don't like the gang thing and that type of life. Either way thats up to you. But just in case, if you're leaning that way, before you decide to do anything or thinking bout joining da hood or whatever, heres the 411 cause you need to know the reality of it and what will be waiting for you round the corner soon enough.
There really is so much to say about this whole thing but for now i'll just keep it at this level...
Hanging with the homies and doing a lil this or a lil that, its all cool right?
When i joined it all sounded pretty cool to me and pretty exciting. Looking forward to hanging and doing some partying. Everything that went with this life was all about risks and serious danger and the chance of something going down sooner or later like being hit up, jumped, stabbed or shot up! That is why most join up for knowing it or not doesn't really matter. We do it anyway without caring or even giving a fuck. This is part of the reality of it straight up.

But that isn't exactly a whole lotta fun when your now spilling your last precious drops of life on some cold sidewalk or whatever and all you can think about is your warm bed at home and your family and wishing you were there at that very moment instead of feeling so cold and in alot of pain. Guess what... Too dam Late! You made your choice just like i did and now you will either live or die with it, simple as that.
I remember lying on a cold street staring up at a streetlight not being able to breath, just waiting and waiting and thinking what my family was doing at that very moment while i'm alone not knowing if i will live or not. All of a sudden i'm missing my family where before i just didn't want to be there and
I'm sure some of you know exactly what i'm talking about too.

I've seen too many of my close friends die in front of me and sometimes even in my own arms and theres NOTHING you can do about it but hurt so bad and apart of you dies with them. It changes you. It makes you colder and harder and a little less human each time. You Change in a bad way.
No one tells you any of this before or when your gonna get into whatever it is your joining, what for ?

But just remember this... It could be? No, it WILL BE one of your friends, its just a matter of time...or it will be YOU.

I always used to look over my shoulder when no one had my back. I always watched while walking down the street to see who was driving by or just around the next turn. Everyone i knew felt this! It comes with the territory even when in your own hood!

Alot of us got into a gang to feel like we had protection and our backup but the truth is you will never be protected from bullets flying at you and you will never out run any of them....
and all it takes is one. You might get lucky and dodge a few or able to hide behind something like i did at times but all it takes is one. Maybe that one will hit you but won't kill you today...hey don't sweat it, theres always tomorrow. Just keeping it all real. You really don't want it any other way.

Yeah, It was all cool and we banged and had our good times, but in a day everything can change that.
I had homies getting taken out or going to prison for a long long time, some never to see the outs or feel freedom again. Even now as i write this, i know of Vatos still doing their time from back then..."lifer's" they call them. I finally did see a few now out and i didn't even know who they were!

Someone close to me has been in since 17 and he's now 39 years old! What a wasted time and life. For stabbing someone (in the heart) with a screwdriver while getting jumped. Thats all it took for two people's lives to be over with. He might get out some day but its just a matter of time and if he does just one little stupid thing he winds right back in and it starts all over again and thats just how it is.

Nobody says the way it really is when being from a gang and living like that. No one talks about it.
Only about all the fun shit that sounds so cool, but its not a long life most will live and the ones who are left to deal with all the hurt and deep pain? Who do you think.
they're the ones who love you and maybe you love most (but then maybe not) yet your still gonna do what you want, hey its your life right! even if its the wrong thing, right? Been there - Done that.
You and I both know i'm no one to talk down to you or try to change you somehow, thats really on you. I'm just telling it straight.

There was a time I cried. It was when i almost died.
I cried because i was thinking of all the pain my family would have to go through and would have felt and it made my heart ache real bad, all because of me thinking i was a cool homie hanging with my homeboys and nothing can happen cause we were ready to kill somebody who looked as us the wrong way! Pretty stupid attitude, and for what? Yeah i know, i heard it all before. The bottom line is wrapped up in one word: Insecurity.

Thats what it comes down to and no one sees it or knows it. I know cause it was me! I needed to feel apart of something, i needed to feel i was a bad vato, i needed to prove myself and get my respect which i later found out will make close enemies from within. I saw alot of homies get played and then after they got used as they took a wrap for someone else they would soon be forgotten while doing time.

Thats just the way it is if you gonna play. You could be set up eventually and get burned...
and by the ones you least suspected! I know.

I'm not gonna tell you what to do if your someone thinking about it, but i am gonna tell you some things you should know and the road where 95% of the time you wind up...dead or prison. 5% is a very very narrow margin if you survive at all ! If you ever think "not me" then your a fool and you will finally see that down the road, if you even get that far!

You think its all about partying and having fun and banging and babes/vatos and all? Well think again! cause there always will be a price to pay for all that and the fact is... its NOT really worth it! I wish it was but the truth is its not. So whatever you do? Better think hard about it cause there is NO turning back! Your in till the end....like it or not! Your odds are 5% at best. 95% is now going against you...
Not very good odds at all man. Come'on so just be smart while you can and be real. And If your not...

shit, then stay in school fool til you are!